Why Your Mediumship Feels Stuck (And How to Move Through the Gears)

Have you ever finished a reading feeling frustrated because you know you're capable of more?

You can feel Spirit.

You know they're there.

You know the evidence is somewhere...

...but it feels like your mediumship just won't quite get going.

If you've ever experienced that, I want to reassure you of something.

It doesn't necessarily mean your connection with Spirit is weak.

It might simply mean you're trying to start in sixth gear.

One of the biggest misconceptions in mediumship

When we're developing our mediumship, we naturally become obsessed with evidence.

Is it specific enough?

Is it detailed enough?

Is it unique enough?

Will my sitter understand it?

Will this prove I'm really connecting with Spirit?

All of those questions are completely understandable.

They're also one of the biggest reasons developing mediums accidentally hold themselves back.

Because instead of allowing the reading to unfold naturally, we start trying to control it.

The gears of mediumship

Spirit recently gave me a teaching that completely changed how I understand readings.

Imagine driving a manual car.

When you pull away, you don't start in sixth gear.

You start in first.

The engine begins to move.

The car gathers momentum.

Then you naturally move into second.

Then third.

Then fourth.

Eventually you're travelling smoothly and effortlessly.

Nobody expects a car to pull away at motorway speed.

Yet that's exactly what many of us expect from our mediumship.

We sit down in front of a sitter and immediately expect jaw-dropping evidence before we've even allowed the connection to build.

We're trying to start in sixth gear.

Then we wonder why we stall.

The beginning of a reading isn't supposed to feel effortless

One of the biggest shifts in my own mediumship came when I stopped expecting perfection in the first few moments of a reading.

At the beginning, the energy is still building.

There's you.

There's your sitter.

There's the Spirit communicator.

Those three energies are learning to work together.

Of course it takes a moment.

That doesn't mean the reading isn't working.

It means you're allowing the process to happen.

Why we accidentally stay stuck

Here's the uncomfortable bit.

Most of us aren't actually asking Spirit to communicate.

We're asking Spirit to prove themselves.

Energetically, we're saying:

"More evidence."

"Better evidence."

"Come on... prove it."

Again and again.

I know because I've done exactly the same thing.

Spirit pointed it out to me, and it wasn't an easy lesson to hear.

I realised I'd made parts of my readings about reassuring myself rather than trusting Spirit.

That's a humbling thing to admit.

Trust changes everything

When I stopped trying to control every piece of evidence, something extraordinary happened.

My readings became better.

Not because Spirit suddenly became better at communicating.

Because I finally got out of the way.

I stopped deciding what counted as "good enough".

Instead, I started trusting that Spirit knew exactly what they wanted to communicate.

That changed everything.

The reading that proved it to me

I was giving a reading to a lady who desperately wanted to hear from her mum.

The very first thing her mum gave me wasn't a birthday.

It wasn't a cause of death.

It wasn't a specific memory.

It was overwhelming love.

I could feel how proud she was.

I could feel her wrapping her daughter in the biggest hug imaginable.

My human brain immediately started panicking.

"This isn't specific enough."

"She'll think I'm making it up."

"I need better evidence."

Thankfully, I'd learned to trust the process.

So I described exactly what I was experiencing.

Then Spirit showed me something else.

Her mum was holding a baby.

The moment I said it, everything changed.

The sitter burst into tears.

Before the reading she'd quietly asked her mum one question:

"If you're really here, can you tell me you're looking after my baby?"

I couldn't possibly have known that.

Neither could her mum have led me there if I'd ignored the love because I was too busy chasing evidence.

Sometimes what feels ordinary to us is actually the doorway to something extraordinary.

Your sitter isn't your enemy

One thing I see over and over again is mediums worrying about what the sitter is thinking.

"They think I'm getting it wrong."

"They're disappointed."

"They wish they'd booked somebody else."

Maybe.

Sometimes.

But often we're simply projecting our own fears onto the sitter.

If we're judging every piece of evidence, we'll assume they are too.

If we're anxious, we'll often perceive anxiety in them.

It's another way we accidentally keep ourselves stuck in lower gears.

Proof matters... but maybe not in the way we think

Please don't misunderstand me.

Evidence is incredibly important.

I'm an evidential medium.

I believe evidence builds trust.

But once Spirit have identified themselves, perhaps our role changes.

Perhaps then our job becomes listening.

Not interrogating.

Not demanding more proof.

Listening.

Some of the most powerful moments in readings aren't about how someone died.

They're about what they've witnessed since arriving in Spirit.

The ways they've stayed close.

The things they've seen.

The love they've never stopped feeling.

That's often what people remember long after the reading ends.

Sometimes the reading runs on empty

Of course, not every reading flows beautifully.

Some sitters arrive exhausted.

Some are understandably guarded.

Some desperately want a reading but find it difficult to relax.

Sometimes the energy simply doesn't build as quickly.

That's okay.

It doesn't mean you've failed.

It doesn't mean Spirit aren't there.

It simply means every reading has its own energy.

Learning to work with that rather than fight it is part of becoming a better medium.

Stop trying to arrive before you've begun

The biggest lesson Spirit have taught me is this:

A reading is a journey.

Not a destination.

When we allow ourselves to move naturally through the gears, we stop trying to force spectacular evidence in the opening moments.

Ironically, that's often when the spectacular evidence arrives.

Because we've surrendered.

Because we've trusted.

Because we've stopped trying to drive at motorway speed before we've even released the handbrake.

Your mediumship doesn't need more control

It probably needs more trust.

Trust in Spirit.

Trust in the process.

Trust that you don't have to know where the reading is going before Spirit do.

The next time you sit with a sitter, don't worry about reaching sixth gear immediately.

Allow yourself to pull away gently.

Build the connection.

Let the energy gather.

Trust the unfoldment.

You might be surprised how effortlessly your mediumship starts moving once you stop trying to force it.

Listen to the full podcast episode

This article is based on an episode of the Mediumship Matters podcast, where I explore why energy is the foundation of every reading and introduce the "gears" analogy that has transformed the way I understand mediumship.

If you'd rather listen than read, you'll find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

Ready to deepen your mediumship?

The strongest evidence doesn't come from forcing Spirit to prove themselves.

It comes from trusting the connection you've already built.

Sometimes the biggest breakthrough in your mediumship isn't learning something new.

It's finally taking your foot off the clutch.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my mediumship feel blocked?

Feeling blocked doesn't always mean you've lost your connection with Spirit. More often, it means you're doubting yourself, trying too hard to control the reading or putting too much pressure on yourself. Learning to trust the process and allowing the connection to build naturally can often help your mediumship flow more freely.

Why does my mediumship feel stronger in some readings than others?

Every reading has a different energy. The connection between you, the Spirit communicator and the sitter is unique each time. Some readings build quickly, while others take longer. This doesn't mean you're a better or worse medium—it simply reflects the different energies involved.

How can I trust Spirit more during a reading?

Trust comes with experience, but it also comes from allowing Spirit to lead. Rather than constantly asking for more evidence, try sharing what you're genuinely receiving, even if it feels simple or ordinary. Spirit often build a reading step by step, and what seems insignificant to you may be exactly what your sitter needs to hear.

Why do I panic at the beginning of a reading?

Almost every medium experiences nerves at the start of a reading. It's natural to worry about getting things right or disappointing your sitter. Instead of expecting instant, powerful evidence, allow yourself time to settle into the connection. Just as you wouldn't expect a car to start in top gear, your mediumship needs time to build momentum.

What is evidential mediumship?

Evidential mediumship focuses on providing clear information that helps identify the Spirit communicator. This might include personality, memories, relationships or shared experiences. Once the Spirit communicator has been recognised, the reading can naturally move into messages, guidance and healing.

Can overthinking affect my mediumship?

Yes. Overthinking is one of the biggest obstacles for developing mediums. When you're analysing every impression or worrying about whether it's good enough, you're more likely to interrupt the natural flow of the reading. Learning to surrender to the process often leads to stronger and more natural communication.

What should I do if a reading isn't flowing?

Stay present and resist the urge to force more evidence. Focus on what Spirit are already giving you rather than what you wish they were giving you. Sometimes a reading simply needs a little more time for the connection to strengthen. Trusting the unfoldment often creates the space for the reading to deepen.

Why is energy so important in mediumship?

Energy influences every part of a reading. Your mindset, your expectations, your confidence and your willingness to trust all affect how easily the communication unfolds. When you focus on creating a calm, open and trusting space, you're more likely to experience a natural flow with Spirit.

How can I improve my mediumship?

The most effective way to improve your mediumship is through regular practice, honest feedback and learning to trust your connection with Spirit. Focus on understanding the process rather than chasing perfection, and remember that every reading is an opportunity to learn and grow.