Why I Love Being Proven Wrong

Can I tell you something that surprises people?

I love being proven wrong.

Not in the moment, obviously.

Nobody enjoys that little sting when you realise you've misunderstood something.

But once my ego has had a quiet word with itself...

I genuinely love it.

Because every time I discover I was wrong about something, it means I've learnt something new.

And if there's one thing mediumship has taught me, it's that certainty doesn't last very long.

Why are we so afraid of being wrong?

I think it's because we've been taught that being wrong means we've failed.

At school, wrong answers lost marks.

At work, mistakes could have consequences.

On social media, changing your mind is often treated as weakness.

So we become attached to being right.

We defend our opinions.

We argue our case.

We double down.

Not always because we're convinced.

Sometimes because admitting we've changed our minds feels uncomfortable.

Spirit have never made me feel like I've finished learning

One of the things I love most about working with Spirit is that they constantly remind me how much there is still to discover.

Every time I think,

"Ah... I've finally understood this."

Something shifts.

Another layer unfolds.

A new perspective appears.

It's almost as though Spirit smile kindly and say,

"That's lovely... now let's show you something even bigger."

I've lost count of how many times I've had that experience.

And honestly?

I hope it never stops.

The danger of certainty

Whenever somebody tells me they've completely figured mediumship out...

I become a little nervous.

Not because I think they're a bad person.

Because I don't believe mediumship is something that can ever be fully mastered.

The Spirit world is far bigger than my understanding of it.

Far bigger than yours.

Far bigger than any teacher's.

The moment we stop questioning...

We stop growing.

Changing your mind isn't weakness

I wish more people understood this.

There are ideas I held five years ago that I no longer believe.

There are techniques I used to teach that I've refined.

There are explanations I would give differently now.

That doesn't embarrass me.

It reassures me.

Because it means I haven't stood still.

Growth should change us.

If your understanding today is exactly the same as it was ten years ago, I'd gently wonder whether you've allowed yourself enough room to keep learning.

What if the people who disagree with you help you grow?

This is one of the reasons I don't mind hearing different perspectives.

Sometimes I completely disagree.

Sometimes I still do after listening.

But occasionally...

Somebody says something that makes me pause.

Not because they've convinced me.

Because they've made me think.

And that's valuable.

Even if I ultimately reach the same conclusion, I've understood my own beliefs more deeply because I questioned them.

Curiosity is more powerful than certainty

I've started noticing something over the years.

The mediums I admire most aren't usually the ones making the biggest claims.

They're the ones asking the best questions.

They remain curious.

Open.

Interested.

Excited by the mystery.

They don't rush to close every conversation with a neat answer.

They're comfortable living alongside uncertainty.

I think that's a wonderful quality.

My favourite phrase

If you've followed my work for a while, you'll know I say this a lot.

"I don't know."

Some people find that surprising.

Surely a teacher should know?

I don't think so.

I think a teacher should know the difference between what they've experienced...

...and what they can prove.

There's enormous freedom in admitting you don't have every answer.

It leaves room for discovery.

Mediumship is an unfolding conversation

I don't think Spirit handed us a finished instruction manual.

If they had, we'd all be doing exactly the same thing.

Instead, mediumship feels alive.

Dynamic.

Always revealing something new.

That's one of the reasons I still find it so fascinating.

After all these years, I can still be surprised.

What a gift that is.

You don't have to defend every opinion

Something shifts when you stop treating your beliefs as part of your identity.

If somebody disagrees with me, I don't immediately feel threatened.

Instead, I become interested.

Why do they see it that way?

What experiences led them there?

Could they be seeing something I've missed?

They might not be.

But they might.

And if they are...

Wonderful.

I've just learnt something.

Be willing to outgrow yourself

I think one of the greatest acts of courage is allowing your future self to disagree with your current self.

To leave room for growth.

To leave room for better understanding.

To leave room for surprise.

Because that's what every meaningful journey asks of us.

Not perfection.

Expansion.

The joy of not knowing

The older I get, the more comfortable I become with mystery.

I don't need every answer.

I don't need certainty about everything.

I don't need to win every debate.

I'd much rather keep learning.

Keep exploring.

Keep unfolding.

So yes...

I genuinely love being proven wrong.

Because every time it happens, life gets a little bigger.

My understanding becomes a little richer.

And the Spirit world becomes even more extraordinary than I imagined before.

I can't think of a better reason to stay curious.

Listen to the full podcast episode

This article is inspired by an episode of the Mediumship Matters podcast, where I explore why changing your mind isn't a weakness, why differing opinions help us grow, and why I believe curiosity is one of the greatest qualities any medium can develop.

If you'd rather listen than read, you'll find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is changing your mind a sign of weakness?

I don't believe so. In fact, I think it's often a sign of growth. As we gain new experiences and deepen our understanding, it's natural for our perspectives to evolve. Changing your mind doesn't mean you were foolish before—it means you're still learning.

Why is it so difficult to admit we're wrong?

Most of us have been taught that being wrong is something to avoid. We associate mistakes with failure rather than learning. Spiritually, however, I think being willing to question our beliefs is one of the healthiest things we can do because it keeps us curious and open to new understanding.

Can you be a good medium if you still have doubts?

Absolutely. I don't think doubt and mediumship are opposites. Many experienced mediums continue to question, explore and refine their understanding throughout their lives. Doubt doesn't necessarily weaken your mediumship—it can encourage humility and continued growth.

Should a spiritual teacher have all the answers?

I don't believe anyone does. A good teacher shares their experience honestly while recognising that there is always more to learn. I'd be cautious of anyone who claims to have every answer about the Spirit world, because mediumship is an ongoing journey of discovery.

How do I stay open to new ideas without believing everything I hear?

Curiosity and discernment work beautifully together. Listen to different perspectives, reflect on your own experiences and ask thoughtful questions. You don't have to accept or reject every idea immediately. Sometimes the wisest response is simply, "That's interesting. I'll keep exploring."

Is uncertainty a normal part of spiritual development?

Very much so. In my experience, the more we learn, the more we realise how much there is still to discover. Uncertainty isn't always a sign that you're lost—it can be a sign that you're growing beyond old assumptions and making room for a deeper understanding.

What if someone proves me wrong?

If it happens, try to see it as an opportunity rather than a defeat. Every new insight helps you expand your understanding. The goal isn't to be right all the time; it's to keep learning and developing throughout your spiritual journey.

Why do you often say, "I don't know"?

Because I think honesty is one of the most important qualities a teacher can have. There are things I've experienced, things I believe and things I simply don't know. Being comfortable saying "I don't know" leaves room for curiosity, continued learning and genuine exploration instead of pretending to have certainty where none exists.

What's more important in mediumship: certainty or curiosity?

For me, curiosity wins every time. Curiosity keeps us learning, questioning and growing. Certainty can sometimes close the door to new possibilities. I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves as mediums is the willingness to remain open to being surprised by Spirit.