The Things We Tolerate Are Often the Things Holding Us Back
Have you ever reached a point where the tiniest thing sends you completely over the edge?
You spill your coffee.
Someone jumps the queue.
A colleague sends one more email.
Your computer crashes.
And suddenly you're sitting there thinking,
"I can't do this anymore."
From the outside, it looks like a complete overreaction.
But it rarely is.
Because the small thing isn't the problem.
It's simply the final straw.
We blame the straw...
Recently, something happened that cost my business £900.
An app I'd built was targeted in an online scam I'd never even heard of before. Within half an hour, thousands of automated requests emptied every penny from my business account.
For a while, I was devastated.
I questioned everything.
Had I made the wrong decision building the business?
Was this a sign I should stop?
Had I ignored something Spirit had been trying to tell me?
Once the initial panic settled, I realised something.
The money wasn't actually the biggest lesson.
The lesson was everything that came afterwards.
Expensive lessons are still lessons
Looking back now, I can see all the things I learned because of that experience.
Safeguards I hadn't known I needed.
Questions I now know to ask.
Systems I'd never have changed if nothing had gone wrong.
Would I rather have kept the £900?
Obviously.
But sometimes life teaches us through experience rather than theory.
Painful doesn't automatically mean pointless.
Then came the final straw
Around the same time, I'd been wrestling with another decision.
There was something in my business that no longer felt aligned.
It wasn't awful.
It wasn't a disaster.
It was just...
Draining.
Every time I opened it, I felt my shoulders tense.
Every time I thought about it, my energy dipped.
I knew, deep down, that I'd probably outgrown it.
But I kept telling myself the same things many of us do.
"It's not that bad."
"You've already changed enough."
"Leave it for now."
"You can cope."
So I stayed.
Until one tiny thing happened
One morning, something incredibly small happened.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing life-changing.
Someone ignored the clearly stated rules in a community I was running.
That's it.
On its own, it wasn't a huge deal.
But in that moment, something inside me finally said,
"Enough."
I closed the community.
Afterwards, I wondered if I'd overreacted.
Then I realised...
I hadn't reacted to that one post.
I'd reacted to months of ignoring my own instincts.
Sometimes the problem isn't the problem
I think we all do this.
We tolerate things long after they've stopped being right for us.
A friendship that's become one-sided.
A job that drains us.
A commitment we no longer enjoy.
A habit that's quietly stealing our energy.
We keep going because none of those things seem bad enough on any individual day.
Until one tiny moment tips us over the edge.
Then we think we've overreacted.
Maybe we haven't.
Maybe we've finally listened.
Anger isn't always the enemy
I know anger gets a bad reputation.
Especially in spiritual spaces.
We're often encouraged to stay calm.
Stay positive.
Stay high vibration.
But I don't think every feeling arrives to be suppressed.
Sometimes anger is simply information.
It tells you a boundary has been crossed.
It tells you something isn't working.
It tells you you've been tolerating more than your heart can comfortably carry.
The goal isn't to lash out.
The goal is to listen.
Your intuition whispers before it shouts
One of the biggest lessons Spirit have taught me is that intuition is usually incredibly quiet.
It rarely barges in and demands your attention.
Instead, it gently nudges.
"This doesn't feel right."
"Something needs to change."
"You're staying here out of habit, not joy."
Most of the time, we ignore those whispers.
Not because we're foolish.
Because change feels uncomfortable.
So we carry on.
Until life turns the volume up.
What are you tolerating?
It's a question I've started asking myself regularly.
Not because I want to become someone who walks away at the first sign of difficulty.
Some things are worth working through.
Some things simply need patience.
But there is a difference between working through something...
...and slowly being worn down by it.
Only you know where that line is.
Sometimes the smallest thing changes everything
Looking back, I don't think the tiny incident that pushed me over the edge ruined anything.
I think it set me free.
It forced me to make a decision I'd already been avoiding.
Without it, I'd probably still be telling myself,
"Leave it until next month."
"It'll get better."
"It's fine."
When actually...
It wasn't.
Thank the straw
This might sound strange.
But I'm genuinely grateful for the moments that finally pushed me into action.
Not because they were enjoyable.
Because they showed me what I already knew.
Sometimes the person who frustrates you the most ends up doing you the biggest favour.
Not because they behaved brilliantly.
Because they made ignoring your intuition impossible.
Stop waiting for permission
If something has been quietly draining your energy for months...
If you've been telling yourself it's not that bad...
If every time you think about it your body sighs...
Perhaps you don't need another sign.
Perhaps you've already had hundreds of them.
Maybe you're simply waiting for one final straw to give yourself permission to act.
What if you didn't wait?
What if you trusted the whisper instead of waiting for life to shout?
Because the things we tolerate are often the very things standing between us and the life we're trying to create.
And sometimes the smallest thing isn't the thing that changes your life.
It's simply the moment you finally decide that enough is enough.
Listen to the full podcast episode
This article is based on an episode of the Mediumship Matters podcast, where I share the lessons I learned from building Spirit Social, trusting my instincts and discovering that the things we tolerate are often the very things holding us back.
If you'd rather listen than read, you'll find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.
A gentle question to leave you with
Take a moment today and ask yourself:
What am I tolerating that no longer belongs in my life?
You don't have to change everything overnight.
But acknowledging the answer might just be the beginning of your next chapter.
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