Your Mediumship Should Look Like You

One of the saddest things I see in mediumship development is people trying very hard not to be themselves.

I understand why.

When you first begin, you're looking for certainty.

You watch experienced mediums and think,

"If I can just work like them, perhaps I'll become a good medium too."

So you copy.

Their phrases.

Their style.

Their way of delivering evidence.

Even the way they stand.

I've done it.

Most of us have.

But here's what I've learnt.

Your greatest strength in mediumship isn't becoming somebody else.

It's becoming more fully yourself.

Is there a right personality for mediumship?

I don't believe there is.

Some mediums are gentle and softly spoken.

Others are loud and full of humour.

Some are deeply emotional.

Others are wonderfully matter-of-fact.

Some tell stories.

Some get straight to the evidence.

None of those approaches is automatically better than another.

They're simply different expressions of different people.

That's exactly as it should be.

Spirit aren't looking for copies

Imagine if every medium sounded identical.

Used the same words.

Gave evidence in the same order.

Had the same personality.

How dull would that be?

More importantly...

Why would Spirit want that?

Every communicator in the Spirit world was an individual.

Every sitter is an individual.

So why wouldn't every medium be one too?

I don't think Spirit are trying to create clones.

I think they're trying to work with the wonderfully unique person standing in front of them.

Your life shapes your mediumship

Something shifted for me when I stopped thinking mediumship was entirely about Spirit.

Of course Spirit are part of it.

But so am I.

My humour.

My experiences.

My values.

My mistakes.

My curiosity.

The way I describe the world.

All of those things influence how I interpret and communicate what I'm receiving.

That's not a flaw.

It's part of the process.

Your mediumship doesn't happen in spite of who you are.

It happens through who you are.

Stop trying to sound spiritual

This might be controversial.

I don't think mediumship needs more spiritual language.

I think it needs more honest language.

Some of the most powerful evidence I've ever given has been described in completely ordinary words.

Because ordinary words are my words.

People don't connect with us because we sound mystical.

They connect because we sound real.

If you wouldn't say something in everyday life...

Why force yourself to say it in a reading?

Your personality isn't getting in the way

I hear students say this all the time.

"I'm too funny."

"I'm too analytical."

"I'm too emotional."

"I'm too practical."

Are you?

Or are you simply comparing yourself to someone who communicates differently?

Your personality isn't the obstacle.

Learning how to work with it is part of the journey.

Confidence comes from authenticity

There's something exhausting about trying to be somebody else.

You have to remember how they speak.

How they move.

How they explain things.

Eventually the performance becomes impossible to maintain.

Authenticity is much lighter.

When you're simply being yourself, there's nothing to remember.

You can focus entirely on Spirit instead of managing an act.

Ironically, that's often when your mediumship becomes stronger.

What if your teacher works differently?

Wonderful.

Learn from them.

Study them.

Be inspired by them.

But don't become them.

Take the principles.

Understand the ethics.

Develop the discipline.

Then allow your own personality to breathe life into everything you've learnt.

That's where your real mediumship begins.

The students who flourish

After years of teaching, I've noticed something.

The students who make the biggest leaps aren't necessarily the most naturally gifted.

They're the ones who stop trying to fit into somebody else's mould.

They trust themselves.

They stop apologising for their personality.

They become more relaxed.

More natural.

More genuine.

And somehow...

Spirit seem to meet them there.

Your mediumship will evolve

The wonderful thing is that authenticity isn't fixed.

You'll change.

You'll grow.

Your understanding will deepen.

Your confidence will increase.

Your mediumship in five years' time won't look exactly like it does today.

That's not inconsistency.

That's growth.

You're allowed to evolve.

You're supposed to.

Stop asking, "Am I doing it right?"

Perhaps there's a better question.

Instead of asking,

"Am I doing it like everyone else?"

Try asking,

"Does this feel authentic, ethical and true to my experience?"

That's a much more useful compass.

Because mediumship isn't about becoming the best imitation of your favourite teacher.

It's about becoming the clearest expression of yourself.

The medium Spirit chose to work with

Here's a thought I come back to often.

Out of every person they could have worked with...

Spirit are working with you.

Not a future version of you.

Not a more polished version.

Not somebody with a different personality.

You.

Exactly as you are today.

So perhaps it's time to stop trying to become somebody else.

Perhaps your greatest contribution to mediumship won't be perfect evidence...

It will be bringing your unique humanity into every connection.

Because that's something no one else can offer.

Ready to develop your own authentic mediumship?

If this article resonated with you, you'll love my book, You Are a Medium (You Just Don't Know It Yet). It's written for people who want to build confidence in their own relationship with Spirit rather than trying to copy somebody else's way of working. My aim has always been to help you discover your mediumship—not mine.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should my mediumship look like other mediums'?

No. While it's natural to learn from experienced teachers, your mediumship should develop in a way that feels authentic to you. Your personality, life experiences and relationship with Spirit are unique, and they all influence how you communicate with the Spirit world.

Is there a right way to communicate with Spirit?

I don't believe there's one single style that suits everyone. There are important ethical principles that underpin good mediumship, but how you naturally blend with Spirit, describe your evidence and communicate messages will be individual to you.

Why do I keep comparing myself to other mediums?

Comparison is a normal part of learning any new skill. We often look at experienced mediums and assume we should work the same way they do. The challenge is remembering that you're seeing the finished result of someone else's journey, not the beginning of your own.

Can my personality affect my mediumship?

Absolutely. I believe your personality is one of your greatest strengths as a medium. Your humour, compassion, curiosity, creativity and way of communicating all shape how you work with Spirit. Rather than trying to suppress those qualities, learn how to work alongside them.

Do I need to sound spiritual to be a good medium?

Not at all. Some of the most powerful readings are delivered in simple, everyday language. Your sitters aren't looking for impressive spiritual terminology—they're looking for a genuine connection and evidence they can understand. Speak naturally, and let your authenticity shine through.

What if I'm very different from my teacher?

That's completely okay. A good teacher should help you understand the principles of mediumship, not expect you to become a copy of them. Learn the foundations, then allow your own voice and personality to emerge as your confidence grows.

Why doesn't my mediumship feel natural yet?

Like any skill, mediumship takes practice. In the early stages it's common to feel self-conscious because you're concentrating on techniques, evidence and structure all at once. As you gain experience, those practical elements become more instinctive, allowing your natural personality to come through.

Can I still learn from other mediums without copying them?

Definitely. Every teacher has something valuable to offer. Take inspiration from their ethics, discipline, knowledge and experience, but don't feel you have to adopt their style, language or personality. The goal is to learn from others while remaining true to yourself.

How do I become a more authentic medium?

Focus less on trying to perform and more on building trust in your own relationship with Spirit. Practise regularly, stay curious, accept that your mediumship will continue to evolve and remember that your uniqueness isn't something to overcome—it's one of your greatest gifts as a medium.