Why I Don't Think Most People Need More Than Three Mediumship Readings

This might be one of the most controversial things I've ever written.

I don't think most people need regular evidential mediumship readings.

In fact...

I think most people probably only need around three in their entire lifetime.

Now before my fellow mediums throw things at me, let me explain.

Because this isn't about saying mediumship isn't valuable.

It's the complete opposite.

I think it's so valuable that we need to be careful not to misuse it.

How often should you have a mediumship reading?

There isn't a universal answer.

Every person is different.

Every grief journey is different.

Every life is different.

But I do think it's worth asking ourselves an important question.

Why are you booking another reading?

Is it because you're curious?

Because you've reached a new chapter in your life?

Because you've never experienced evidential mediumship before?

Or...

Because you've started to feel as though you need a medium to feel okay?

Those are very different reasons.

What is the purpose of evidential mediumship?

For me, evidential mediumship has one primary purpose.

To demonstrate that love continues after death.

That's it.

It's not about predicting every decision you'll ever make.

It's not about replacing your own intuition.

It's not about becoming dependent on a medium every few months.

It's about offering evidence that consciousness survives physical death.

Once you've experienced that...

The question becomes:

Now what?

Spirit exist. Now what?

This is the question I come back to again and again.

If you've received evidence that your loved ones continue...

How does that change the way you live?

Does it make you kinder?

Braver?

More present?

Does it help you fear death a little less?

Does it encourage you to trust your own intuition more?

Those questions feel much more interesting to me than booking another reading simply to hear another piece of evidence.

Can you become dependent on mediumship?

I think it's possible.

Not because mediumship is harmful.

Because grief is powerful.

When someone we love dies, we'll do almost anything to feel close to them again.

That's completely understandable.

But if we begin believing we can only feel connected through a medium...

We've accidentally handed our own power away.

I don't think that's what Spirit want for us.

What do Spirit actually want?

This is only my opinion.

But after thousands of readings, I don't believe Spirit spend their time trying to encourage people to keep booking appointments with mediums.

Quite the opposite.

Again and again, I hear the same message.

"Live your life."

"Love each other."

"Stop worrying so much."

"We're still here."

The reassurance isn't supposed to become another source of anxiety.

It's supposed to set you free.

Why I changed my own business

This realisation changed how I think about my work.

Could I fill my diary with evidential readings?

Probably.

Would that create the kind of business I want?

No.

Because evidential mediumship is emotionally intense.

For the sitter.

And for the medium.

It's sacred work.

And I think sacred things deserve space to breathe.

That's one of the reasons I love teaching, writing, podcasting and creating communities like Spirit Social.

Those things help people build their own relationship with Spirit rather than relying on mine.

Is there anything wrong with having more than three readings?

Not at all.

Life isn't a rulebook.

Some people will have one reading.

Others will have ten.

I'm not interested in policing anyone's choices.

I'm simply inviting you to pause and ask yourself why you're booking.

Awareness matters more than numbers.

The healthiest reading is one that gives you yourself back

My favourite readings aren't the ones where someone leaves thinking,

"I need to come back next month."

They're the ones where someone walks out standing a little taller.

Breathing a little more easily.

Trusting themselves a little more.

Feeling less frightened of life.

Less frightened of death.

Less frightened of love.

If that's happened...

Then I think the reading has done exactly what it was meant to do.

Mediumship should empower you

I think ethical mediumship should always leave people with more freedom than they arrived with.

Not more dependency.

More trust.

Not more fear.

More hope.

Not more confusion.

If someone's business relies on convincing you that you constantly need them...

I think it's worth asking why.

Because the best teachers, mediums and healers I've ever met all have one thing in common.

They want you to leave stronger than when you arrived.

Build your own relationship with Spirit

This is what I hope for every person I work with.

Not that they become lifelong clients.

That they become lifelong explorers.

That they begin noticing Spirit in everyday life.

That they trust their own intuition.

That they recognise signs without needing someone else to interpret every one of them.

That they discover the comfort of knowing their loved ones are still close.

Because that's something no medium can give you permanently.

It's something you discover for yourself.

The greatest gift a medium can give

People sometimes ask me what makes a good medium.

Of course evidence matters.

Compassion matters.

Integrity matters.

But I think there's something even more important.

A good medium should leave you needing them less.

Not more.

Because the greatest proof that a reading has worked isn't that someone immediately books another one.

It's that they walk back into their life with a little more peace than they had before.

Listen to the full podcast episode

This article is inspired by an episode of the Mediumship Matters podcast, where I explore what I believe the real purpose of evidential mediumship is, why ethical boundaries matter, and why I think our role as mediums is to help people reconnect with life—not become dependent on us.

If you'd rather listen than read, you'll find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

One final question

If you knew, beyond any doubt, that your loved ones in Spirit were still with you...

How would you choose to live differently?

Perhaps that's the question mediumship has been asking all along.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should you have a mediumship reading?

There isn't a rule that works for everyone, but I don't believe most people need frequent evidential mediumship readings. For many people, one to three meaningful readings throughout their life may be enough to bring reassurance, evidence and comfort. The important question isn't how often you're booking, but why you're booking.

Can you have too many mediumship readings?

I believe it's possible to become overly reliant on mediumship if readings become the only way you feel connected to your loved ones in Spirit. A reading should leave you feeling reassured and empowered, not dependent on booking another appointment every few weeks.

Is it unhealthy to become dependent on a medium?

In my opinion, yes. Ethical mediumship should help you build trust in your own relationship with Spirit, not convince you that you need a medium to maintain that connection. If you feel anxious between readings or believe you can't cope without regular reassurance from a medium, it may be worth exploring why.

What is the purpose of evidential mediumship?

For me, the primary purpose of evidential mediumship is to demonstrate that consciousness survives physical death and that our loved ones continue to exist. Once you've experienced that reassurance, the focus shifts from seeking proof to asking how that knowledge changes the way you choose to live.

Is it wrong to book another reading after hearing from a loved one?

Not at all. There are many valid reasons to return for another reading, especially if significant life events have happened or many years have passed. The key is checking your motivation. Are you seeking comfort and insight, or have you started relying on the medium to provide something you could begin developing within yourself?

Should mediums encourage repeat bookings?

I believe ethical mediums should prioritise their clients' wellbeing over repeat business. Of course people are welcome to return, but I don't think our role is to create dependency. The best mediums help people leave feeling stronger, more peaceful and more connected to Spirit in their own lives.

Can I connect with my loved ones without a medium?

I believe you can. While evidential mediumship offers a unique experience, many people develop their own awareness of signs, synchronicities, dreams and moments of connection with their loved ones in Spirit. A medium can open a door, but your relationship with Spirit doesn't begin and end with a reading.

Why do people keep booking mediumship readings?

There are many reasons. Some people are grieving, some are seeking reassurance, and others simply enjoy the experience. There's nothing wrong with that. The important thing is to notice whether your readings are helping you move forwards or keeping you emotionally dependent on receiving more evidence.

What makes a medium ethical?

For me, an ethical medium works with honesty, compassion and integrity. They respect their clients' vulnerability, avoid creating fear or dependency, and recognise that the goal isn't to make people need them forever. The greatest compliment I can receive isn't that someone books ten more readings—it's hearing that a reading helped them find peace and confidence in their own relationship with Spirit.