The Energy Your Sitter Brings Matters Too

When people book a mediumship reading, they often assume one thing.

The quality of the reading depends entirely on the medium.

If it's a brilliant reading...

The medium must be brilliant.

If it's a difficult reading...

The medium must have had an off day.

Now, of course, we as mediums are responsible for turning up prepared, grounded and ready to work.

But after years of giving readings, I've realised something that isn't talked about nearly enough.

Every reading is a collaboration.

Is a mediumship reading a partnership?

I believe it is.

Whenever I sit down with someone, there are three energies in the room.

Mine.

The sitter's.

And Spirit's.

People sometimes imagine that a medium simply switches Spirit on like a light switch.

It doesn't work like that.

Every person who sits opposite me brings their own emotional world into the reading.

Their expectations.

Their grief.

Their excitement.

Their scepticism.

Their fear.

Their openness.

All of those things become part of the energetic space we're working within.

Does a sitter's energy affect a mediumship reading?

In my experience...

Yes.

That doesn't mean you have to arrive perfectly calm or completely free from emotion.

Far from it.

Grief is welcome.

Nerves are welcome.

Tears are welcome.

Questions are welcome.

They're all part of being human.

What makes a reading difficult isn't usually emotion.

It's resistance.

What does resistance feel like?

This is surprisingly hard to describe.

Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone who's already decided they aren't going to answer.

You ask a question.

They shrug.

You offer another thought.

They close down even further.

Eventually, it becomes less about the conversation and more about trying to convince someone to have one.

Occasionally, readings can feel like that.

Not because someone is a bad person.

But because, for whatever reason, they're not quite available to the experience.

Why would someone block a reading?

There are so many reasons.

They might be frightened of becoming emotional.

They may have booked before they were truly ready.

Perhaps they're testing mediumship.

Perhaps they're protecting themselves after loss.

Sometimes they don't even realise they're doing it.

And that's okay.

None of us can force ourselves to be emotionally open before we're ready.

Can a medium work with a sceptical sitter?

Absolutely.

Healthy scepticism doesn't bother me at all.

In fact, I rather like it.

A good evidential reading should never require blind belief.

The difference is that healthy scepticism stays curious.

Resistance often closes the door before the conversation has even begun.

Those are very different energies.

The reading that taught me the biggest lesson

I once gave a reading to someone who felt almost impossible to work with.

Everything I offered seemed to meet a wall.

Nothing landed.

Nothing flowed.

Eventually, I became so frustrated that I simply said,

"It feels like you've built a huge wall around yourself, and it's making this incredibly difficult."

I honestly thought I'd made things worse.

Instead...

His face lit up.

"That's exactly what every medium tells me!" he said.

Suddenly, the entire reading changed.

We laughed.

The energy shifted.

Spirit flowed more freely.

It was one of those moments that reminded me just how unpredictable mediumship can be.

Sometimes the thing you're most worried about saying is exactly what needs to be said.

Stop trying to rescue every reading

When I was a newer medium, I assumed every difficult reading was my fault.

If someone looked disappointed...

I worked harder.

If they seemed distant...

I pushed harder.

If nothing seemed to land...

I blamed myself.

Now I see it differently.

I'm responsible for bringing my very best.

I'm not responsible for controlling every part of the experience.

That realisation has been incredibly freeing.

How can you prepare for a mediumship reading?

If you're coming for a reading, you don't need to meditate for hours beforehand.

You don't need to memorise dates.

You don't need to try to guess who Spirit will bring.

The best thing you can bring is simply a willingness to have a conversation.

Come with curiosity.

Come with honesty.

Come as yourself.

That's more than enough.

What if a reading doesn't go as expected?

Sometimes the Spirit communicator you expected doesn't come through first.

Sometimes the evidence unfolds differently than you imagined.

Sometimes a reading takes a little longer to settle.

That doesn't automatically mean something has gone wrong.

Like any meaningful conversation, mediumship has its own rhythm.

Sometimes it takes a little while for everyone to find it.

It's never just the medium

I think one of the greatest misconceptions about mediumship is that the medium carries the entire responsibility for the experience.

I don't believe that's true.

The sitter matters.

Spirit matter.

The medium matters.

Each plays a role.

When all three work together, something extraordinary can happen.

Not because anyone forced it.

But because everyone arrived willing to meet in the same space.

The best readings feel like conversations

The readings I remember most aren't always the ones with the most spectacular evidence.

They're the ones where trust grew naturally.

Where Spirit felt close.

Where laughter appeared alongside tears.

Where everyone in the room felt as though we were discovering something together.

That's what mediumship feels like at its best.

Not a performance.

A partnership.

Listen to the full podcast episode

This article is based on an episode of the Mediumship Matters podcast, where I talk honestly about the vulnerability of giving evidential readings and why the sitter's energy plays a much bigger role than many people realise.

If you'd rather listen than read, you'll find the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.

Thinking of booking a reading?

You don't need to arrive as the perfect sitter.

Just bring yourself.

Your questions.

Your curiosity.

And a willingness to share the space with Spirit.

Everything else can unfold from there.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does a sitter's energy affect a mediumship reading?

In my experience, yes. Every reading is a partnership between the medium, the sitter and Spirit. While a medium is responsible for preparing and working with integrity, the sitter's openness, emotional state and willingness to engage all contribute to the atmosphere of the reading.

Can being nervous affect my reading?

Not in the way many people worry about. It's completely normal to feel nervous, emotional or even sceptical before a reading. Those feelings don't stop Spirit from communicating. You don't need to pretend to be calm or positive. Simply arriving as yourself is enough.

What makes a mediumship reading feel difficult?

There can be many reasons. Sometimes grief is overwhelming, sometimes expectations are very specific, and sometimes a sitter is unconsciously protecting themselves from becoming emotionally vulnerable. A difficult reading doesn't automatically mean the medium has done anything wrong or that Spirit aren't present.

Should I prepare before a mediumship reading?

There's no need for complicated rituals. You don't need to meditate for hours or try to work out who will come through. The best preparation is simply arriving with an open mind, a willingness to have a conversation and realistic expectations about how mediumship works.

Can a sceptical person still have a good mediumship reading?

Absolutely. Healthy scepticism isn't a problem. In fact, many excellent readings take place for people who are naturally questioning or analytical. Curiosity is very different from resistance. You don't have to believe blindly for a meaningful connection with Spirit to take place.

What if the person I hoped to hear from doesn't come through first?

That can happen. Spirit communication doesn't always unfold according to our expectations. Sometimes another loved one steps forward first because they have something important to share, or because they're helping establish the evidence for the reading. Trusting the process often leads to a richer experience than trying to control it.

Why do some readings feel easier than others?

Every person brings a different energy into the room. Some readings flow effortlessly from the beginning, while others take a little time to settle. That's part of working with human beings rather than machines. Each reading is unique because each relationship between the medium, sitter and Spirit is unique.

What can I do to help create the best possible reading?

Come with honesty rather than expectation. Be willing to listen, answer questions openly and allow the conversation to develop naturally. You don't need to know exactly what you want to hear or who should come through. Giving Spirit room to work often creates the most meaningful experiences.

Is the medium responsible for everything that happens during a reading?

No. A good medium accepts responsibility for their preparation, professionalism and connection with Spirit, but they can't control every aspect of the experience. Mediumship is a shared space. The medium, the sitter and Spirit all play a role in creating the reading, and recognising that partnership leads to a much healthier understanding of how evidential mediumship works.